The risk I'm taking

There are always two sides to a story, and I’m not naive enough to think that sharing this will not ruffle some feathers. But this is my truth, and I will do everything I can to protect my daughter’s future. A lot of my healing involves figuring out how to shelter her while also finding the courage to share my story. My hope is that by doing so, it may help others who are walking a similar path.

Through my journey of healing and rediscovering myself, I chose to write a summary of my story as a form of therapy. My mind often races in a hundred different directions, and writing helped me process my thoughts. It allowed me to relive and work through my experiences in a chronological way, which made it easier to understand what was necessary for my healing. This process not only helped me adjust to the changes I needed to make, but it also gave me the opportunity to tell my story and explain why I felt the way I did.

Encouraged to share......

After sharing my experiences through writing, I was encouraged to share my thoughts with others. So they too know, they are not alone. 

If you knew me prior to the last four years, I had what I considered a successful life. I had been married for 18years, and together, we had raised three beautiful children and started a very successful and respected business.

Within this marriage, I was really private about our relationship. Any conflicts or complications we had, we handled them together within the relationship, just the two of us. We were very dependent on each other. What I mean by that is, he was my best friend and confidant. I rarely expressed anything without talking to him first. Together, we built a working union.

So, long story short, it came with a lot of thought and insecurities when it came to choosing to share my insecurities and struggles. I still struggle with seeing these as "my choices" to stay in a relationship that, deep down, I should have known wasn’t right.

Today almost 2 months shy of the one year anniversary or me standing on my own two feet again, it feels as though I am able to breathe again and look forward to my future

April 27, 2024

April 27, 2024, marks the day my life took a turn, a day that began a new chapter not just for me, but most importantly for my precious, innocent little Ruby Elaine. On that day, I made the decision to walk away from a relationship that had no future for me, no future for Ruby, and no future for the life I had imagined. But the truth was, the future I had been living was built on lies, deception, and a cover-up.

I was just four weeks post-partum when I packed up my belongings, my 4-week-old daughter by my side, and began the daunting task of moving everything I could into a 10×20 storage unit. It wasn’t easy. It took me over three weeks, countless trips in my Ford Explorer, loading whatever I could fit into that small space, and doing it all on my own.

By the grace of God, a friend and their family offered Ruby and I a roof over our heads for three months. At that point, I had nothing left. I was broke, with zero dollars to my name. I had stayed home for the last year, drained my entire bank account just to cover rent for the prior year and raise two children as my own while their father was away in community corrections, for the last 10 months. The past two years had been a blur of suffering in silence. I hid not only the emotional abuse but also the physical violence that took place behind closed doors.

A few friends knew about the physical abuse, but only because the injuries were severe enough to require medical attention. Within those two years, I had suffered a broken wrist, two broken ribs, been bear-maced in the face, and endured countless bruises and scars that I wore as silent reminders of the life I thought I had no way out of. But Ruby, she gave me strength. She was my reason to leave, to fight for a future of freedom and peace for both of us. 

That day, on April 27, 2024, I began reclaiming my life and making the hard, yet necessary choices to protect her and myself.

That day, I promised Ruby that it would all end with us—that everything would stop right here, with her and me, until the very end. Momma's got you. It's just us now.