Tuesday, March 4, 2025

The first time I tried to leave....

After nearly two weeks of spending 24/7 together at my townhouse, I learned that there was a child involved in his past relationship—a very young child who was only 3 months old at the time. I was also told that he didn't  believe the child was his. I even rode with him to drop off the envelope for the paternity test.  I was told that the child and her mother were living with his mother because the mother struggled with addiction, and his mom was providing a safe environment for both the child and her. I didn't ask him many questions because I didn't want to pry, but I did talk to our mutual friends to learn more about the situation. They told me that the relationship had ended long before the baby was born, due to the mother’s infidelity and addiction issues. Everyone, and I mean everyone, assured me that their relationship was over for a long time.

As time went on, however, I began to notice signs that suggested their relationship might not be as over as everyone claimed. But I tried not to read too much into it. Nearly a month into our relationship, he became really upset, telling me that his ex and their child were leaving for Kansas and that he feared he wouldn't be able to see his daughter for a long time. I encouraged him to go visit his child in Alamosa, where she was staying with his mom. He mentioned that he was low on cash, and I can’t quite remember why he couldn’t take his own car, but I offered him mine along with $300 to help cover the trip.

That’s when he first cheated on me. While he was away in Alamosa “visiting his child,” I expressed some of my concerns to our mutual friends, and once again, they all assured me that his relationship with his ex was long over and that it was only about the child now. But I started to feel uneasy in the relationship and ultimately decided I wanted to end things. When he returned to Denver with my car, I told him that I wasn’t comfortable anymore, didn’t want to come between his new family, and although I liked him, maybe things would work out for us in the future.

He sent me long, sweet messages, even threatening to end his life because he couldn’t bear losing "the girl he’d always dreamed of." I fell right back into the relationship. Loving him was so easy for me, and I thought we had such a deep, beautiful connection. What I didn’t realize at the time was that everything was built on lies.

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